"Why do Americans make such bad movies?" Why do they make so much money in Germany? Plus have you seen (list great films). I was asked this one summer when the top two films in Germany were Police Academy something and Rambo III. And the top show on TV for so long was Married with Children??!!

"Why did you kill all the Indians?" It was either him or me, the *%#$?!. (My son came up with that one.) Actually, Iowa had one small Indian incident, but otherwise, when my people came the Indians had already moved on.

"Why do you still have the death penalty?" America is made up of 50 (yes, 50) states. Iowa hasn't had the death penalty for approximately the same length of time as Germany?

"If the percentage of alcohol in the blood that is illegal when driving differs from state to state, how do you know when you are too drunk to drive?" Actually, that was from French teachers at the Goethe Institute. Don't drive drunk at all, people!

"Why do you force McDonald's on us?" I don't eat there. Why do the Germans?

"Why are Americans so racist?" Actually, the problems in Iowa have to do with resentment of Mexican immigrants who originally came as migrant workers. I describe problems (which are real) in such a way that the comparison with Turks in Germany becomes quite clear.

"Americans are the most patriotic people in the world." Said in a negative way. Have you been in England or France lately?

"Why are Americans so superficial in their friendships?" It's a difference in manners, not in human emotions. We know who our Freunde are and who our Bekannten (acquaintances) are.

"Why don't Americans know anything about politics?" I can find out what an American thinks about all sorts of political issues without ever asking a direct question and know exactly how to avoid confrontation, or welcome it with open arms. I think this was a skill developed on the frontier and passed on to later generations. I know my ancestors didn't always want to talk about why they had to leave the Old Country so quickly. And they were very happy to be very friendly with strangers who showed up on the lonely prairie. I may not always know what's going on in Austria, but it's the same size as West Virginia-- quick, who's the governor of West Virginia?

"Why don't Americans know anything about geography?" Why do you think Iowa is pronounced Ohio in your language? The Ohio thing is so old-- of course, we also get it from East Coast Americans, who then ask about the potato crop. No, we're the hicks who grow corn. All of us. In overalls. OK, only 6% of us, but they make for good photo ops with politicians.

"Why is American beer so bad?" OK, you got me. But we're working on it.