GERMAN MARRIAGE CUSTOMS


WEDDING BELLS RING FOR TWO HOOSIER GERMANS!

For most of the people driving down Lafontaine St. in Huntington, Indiana this past 24 May, it must have seemed like an ordinary wedding - just another bride and a groom on the front steps of St. Peter's Lutheran Church, surrounded by family and friends. Little did they know that the day's proceedings had been initiated many months before by a young man asking a young woman a very simple question under a very large moose head in the Schlossgarten at Das Deutsche Haus-Athenaeum.

It hadn't been my intention to ask the woman I loved to marry me while we were sitting under a moose head, but as a frequent visitor to the Athenaeum, I decided that he might serve as a good luck charm. Worst case, I could attribute a negative response to my question to his presence.

Tracy's family were Lutherans of German and Norwegian extraction, while my background was Prussian-Irish and almost exclusively Roman Catholic. As if those backgrounds weren't enough to attempt to reconcile for a wedding ceremony, we also faced the logistical challenge of most of our friends and families being located out of town.

After comparing notes, it was obvious that there was one thing (besides love!) that we had in common - a German background. The more we talked about things, the clearer it became to both of us that this would likely be the thread that would help us to sew our lives together for eternity.

Tracy's hometown church, St. Peter's, was over 100 years old, founded by German immigrants a decade before the Civil War had begun. As someone with a History degree from Indiana University who also had the good fortune to sit through a few classes with the notoriously interesting Dr. Eberhard Reichmann of the German Studies department (my hero!), this immediately caught my attention.

Not only were Tracy's mother and grandmother married there in fine Lutheran fashion, but her Grandfather Ottomar Winkleman actually recollected childhood memories of having attended St. Peter's before World War I, when church services and Sunday school were conducted exclusively in German.

Having been a member of the IGHS since the late 80's, I was really excited about the opportunity that Tracy and I had not only to carry on some of the traditions that our families had known, but also to hopefully kindle an interest in them for some of the younger members of our kith and kin.

We went to visit Rev. Goebbert, the Pastor of St. Peter's. After a few questions about ourselves and our backgrounds, we explained our plans for the order of the wedding ceremony. Tracy and I had decided that we wanted to pay tribute to those who had come before us especially with the music.

One song that I was especially interested in using was the old hymn, "Was Gott thut, das ist wohlgetan" (it roughly translates into: "What God Ordains is Good"). This inscription appears on my great grandfather's tombstone and had been a mystery to me until I ran across it in an old German songbook. My great-grandfather, who was Lutheran, and his children had come from Pommerania just before World War I, but unfortunately I never had the chance to meet them. I thought it would be a fitting tribute to include this song in our service.

When we first broached the subject of a special musical request with Pastor Goebbert, a look of "Oh no!" came over his face. But when we told him what it was, we could tell by the look on his face that it would be just fine. In fact, with the exception of Wagner's Wedding March, it turned out to be an all Bach program.

Pastor Goebbert became our co-conspirator in planning the most German wedding Huntington had seen since the Kaiser had his last ride down "Unter den Linden." After several meetings with the Pastor, we decided that we would incorporate some German language into the service. I had minored in German at IU, but had become a bit rusty since graduating some 6 years earlier. Despite a few visits to the Fatherland, Tracy didn't speak much herself. Pastor Goebbert was more than happy to lend us a hand by reading the Lord's Prayer in German.

We knew that of the nearly 200 people in attendance, not many would be able to follow along, but thought that it would be a fitting tribute to those who had stood at that alter in the 100 years previous to us, as well as those in our own families who had spoken those words so faithfully for centuries before the first Germans had settled in America.

In addition to the ceremony, we wanted our wedding program to also reflect German tradition, so we decided to design it ourselves, rather than using ready made forms. On the cover was a picture of St. Peter's taken from a program published for its 75th anniversary during the 1920s, set just below the "Luther Rose". On the back page we included both the current English version of the Lord's Prayer as well as Martin Luther's German translation from the 16th century, printed in Fraktur, the old German typeface.

Before we knew it, our wedding day was upon us. To the venerable tones of Bach our family and friends began to arrive at the church. At the introductory greeting Pastor Goebbert explained the special ceremony and why it was important to us. Under his able guidance, the ceremony went off without a hitch. As people left the church, and afterwards at the reception, many commented on the ceremony, especially the Pastor's reading of the Lord's Prayer "auf deutsch."

Just when their little attention spans were about to expire, we gathered all the children to the front of reception the hall. We were ready to share the final tradition we had been able to uncover - the bride and groom tossing coins for the children to pick up. If there was anyone in the under-10 crowd that we hadn't touched yet, this was certainly the coup de grace! Tracy and I took two rolls of pennies each and tossed them skyward. Before we knew it, we were surrounded by the gang, each one grabbing as many coins as they could get their hands on. Although it was probably the least sophisticated of all the customs we followed, it was certainly the most enthusiastically received.

As the evening drew to a close, Tracy and I were exhausted. Despite that, we realized that the extra time we had put into the day had not only made it much more enjoyable for our guests, but had also brought us closer together by helping us to understand who we were, where we came from and why we were lucky to have found each other.

Michael Hughes

[Former Membership Chairman and long-time Indiana German Heritage Society member, Michael Hughes was married to Tracy Turgeson on 24 May, 1997. This is what he wrote for the IGHS Newsletter.]


POLTERABEND

Ever heard of the POLTERABEND? It's the eve-of-the-wedding party and, yes, it has to do with "poltern" = making a racket, rattle-rattle, noise. Other (regional) versions are "Holabend," "Rumpelnacht" and "Schaiwomt" (Scherbenabend), in some German-American communities "charivari" or "ch[sh]ivaree," named after the French tradition (possibly via Alsation immigrants) of making a noisy mock serenade with rattles to newly weds. When, way back, mummers produced this noisy "Katzenmusik" at a wedding, it had the symbolic meaning of protecting against all kinds of harm and calamity. Polterabend is first mentioned in 1517 (central Germany).

Friends bring old dishes and smash them for the same purpose as with the "Katzenmusik" of the charivari. In some regions, the bride must sweep up the damage, in most others now the bridegroom does it. Some parties observe also shooting noises, as in the custom of shooting in the New Year. In the motorized age, tin cans may be dragged by the wedding car for some modern update.

Today, the Polterabend brings all the friends together again. This is economical, for financial or other restraints may call for a "small" wedding.

At the church wedding proper the bride is brought to the altar by her father. When the couple leaves the church, flowers may be strewn by flower children. Once outside, rice is showered on them. Then the party heads for the "Kuchenessen" at a restaurant. The wedding cake is cut with both holding the knife. The time before dinner may be filled with photo opportunities and various activities or performances. After dinner, the bride's father may give a speech, followed by the bride's waltz and other dances.

The honeymoon, is rarely referred to as "Honigmond" but rather as "Flitterwochen" with a "Hochzeitsreise (wedding trip). And they lived happily ever after.

Ruth Reichmann, Ph.D.
Max Kade German-American Center
Indiana Univ.-Purdue Univ. Indianapolis
401 East Michigan Street
Indianapolis, IN 46204

317 630-0035 FAX
reichman@indiana.edu
http://www.ulib.iupui.edu/kade/


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